Local casual sex may be less frowned upon than it once was, but that doesn’t mean it is without its problems. Alarms have sounded before: The writer Nora Johnson raised an eyebrow at promiscuity on college campuses, and anthropologist Peter Wood wrote last year in the conservative Weekly Standard that even the most meaningless-seeming hookups carry significant physical and moral risks.
A local hookup can be a good thing, but only if both parties are clear on what they want from each other. This includes a clear understanding that casual sex is not a path to a long-term relationship, and that if either partner wants to take things further, they need to express it in a way that does not leave the other feeling trapped and exploited.
That means setting boundaries, which can be hard to do in a situation where the participants are meeting for the first time. It also means avoiding cuddling, even in a friendly way; this releases the hormone oxytocin, which leads to bonding and can quickly turn into a sexual encounter. It is also important to set limits on how much texting you engage in; it is easy to turn a casual sex relationship into a full-fledged romance by oversharing.
It’s also important to keep in mind that you don’t have to have “the talk” before or after a sexual encounter, and it is perfectly normal to not bring up the possibility of hooking up again if your partner does not ask. If you do decide to discuss it, both parties should be prepared for the potential consequences of their choice: In a recent study, researchers found that women regret casual sex more than men do, possibly because of the impact it can have on their self-esteem.
Another reason to avoid a local casual sex relationship is the risk of getting caught. It is common for people to get caught in kinky subcultures, such as swingers’ clubs or sex rooms, and there are often strict rules about how you can enter and exit the space. There are also a number of online apps that cater to casual sex, which can lead to dangerous situations that are not just illegal but could result in serious injury or even death.
It is also important to be mindful of the effects of alcohol on casual sex; it can increase the likelihood of orgasm and reduce inhibitions, but it can also impair judgment, which can cause people to do and say things that they would not have done otherwise. It is therefore crucial to stay sober or at least abstain from drinking during a sex encounter.
Finally, you should be wary of the Orgasm Gap: Studies show that few people—especially young people—experience orgasm on their first casual sex encounter. However, if you learn techniques to induce orgasm, it can increase the chances of success, and some people find that they have a better experience after three or more sexual encounters with a new partner.